That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
