this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
