Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
