Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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