ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
