the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
