Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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