well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
