nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
