Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
