Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
