i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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