At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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