Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
