oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
