I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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