brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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