hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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