Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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