You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
