i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
