so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
