Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
