Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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