i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
