Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
