Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
