he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
