Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
where does the pee come out of this thing
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
