Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
its liver damage thursday
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
