I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
