discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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