Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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