omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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