the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
