listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
