the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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