Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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