why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
