erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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