I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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