I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
