I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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