If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
