Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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