If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
