I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
