considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
