Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
