At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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